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Zivah Avraham's avatar

What an excellent part 2, Nick!

It feels like you’ve spent weeks creating this story and I can’t wait for part 3 (what a bonus for it to be longer than intended!). The Gormenghast feel continues…

As a little aside - I’m sure it’s me, but the purge of fire description reminds me of the blue flame of lit brandy on a Christmas pudding - it made me hungry!

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Nick Winney's avatar

that was exactly what i had in mind re the blue flames!

what a wonderful comment. thank you so much! it is absolutely the best feeling to know ive written something that someone enjoyed reading so much.

part 1 has some terrible errors in it and a lot of naming issues so i tried to be more consistent with what everyone is called in part 2... i just hope this doesnt wind up 12 parts like the Legacy...

once I get a feel for how i want something to feel it usually sort od flows out, although getting from the idea to the end is usually very difficulty for me... this one is not cast in stone yet but suffice to say... the most horrible character is likely to cop it... or maybe he wont...🤔

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

No reason why you can't edit the part 1 you already posted?

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Nick Winney's avatar

yes im going to do that once i actually finish it

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Zivah Avraham's avatar

I’m so pleased about the Christmas pudding inspiration! Great minds, right ;)

Your writing process sounds like mine. It can be a bit fly by the seat of your pants at time and also thoroughly frustrating, although, of course, so much fun.

Naming issues, schmaming issues. It’s a rollicking (Gormen)ghastly read, and that’s the most important, best thing.

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Honeygloom's avatar

Your writing is so detailed and vivid! I’m looking forward to part three and more from this mysterious scientist.

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Nick Winney's avatar

thank you! was just plotting out the ending yesterday…a lot of moving parts and i keep adding characters. but choosing names is something i like so….part 4 soonish!

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Keith Long's avatar

These are so vibrant — I love them.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Thanks Keith! 😎

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

Got to love a bit of political intrigue! Beautiful world building, Nick.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Thank you Hanna 😀 this is particularly excellent to hear, coming from you! part 3 soon.. part 1 to be tidied up (part 2 also...)

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

I am still working my way through the small and scary stories, and I got to yours today. It was nice to see it's even more than was asked of you! Seems like you've found something to roll with. Good work.

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Nick Winney's avatar

i rememebr saying The Legacy would be finished after 3 episodes and it went to 12... and was 22000 words and took 3 months... im NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!

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Garen Marie's avatar

Nick, I believe you might be a genius. How do you conjure these incredibly detailed worlds at what seems to be the drop of a hat? I am floored. This has so much to recommend it: the mystery, the political intrigue (I second the punishment seeming like something out of GoT), the language and flow. Color me impressed.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Thanks Garen! this is such an amazing compliment and encouragement and means a great deal coming from such a great imagination as yours!

I really do imagine the scenes in my head very vividly then write them.

i also speak out the dialogue with terrible accents to see how it sounds! although this tends to make my characters maybe a bit cliché

and instill haven't quite worker out hiw the pieces of the end game will fall together... really desperate to get it finished!

thank you again 😁😁😁

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Garen Marie's avatar

Oh how I would love to be a fly on the wall while you speak the dialogue out loud! 🪰

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Nick Winney's avatar

i did record an audio chapter of Reverend Speighthart a while back but it was too ridiculous haha!

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Garen Marie's avatar

What!! Nick you should definitely include that audio. That would be gold!

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Great part 2!

I do like that sort of unspoken description of the Baron's little punishment. That sort of thing would not have been out of place in Game of Thrones.

And it's definitely the sort of thing these high-ups really do indulge themselves in.

Mind you, the Baron's an arsehole. Literally.

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Nick Winney's avatar

yes...i wanted to make it obvious but not spell it out...and as there is a sort of roman flava to this realm, the attitudes to sexual acts is different.. i did canvas some views on this effectively being rape...was somewhat nervous of writing it but hopefully it was effective without being gratuitous and it was aiming to create the motivations and paint the characters more fully. Otho is hopefully detestable !

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Yeah - the classical aspect/view of stuff like that comes across very well here. In the case of imperial Rome, although homosexual acts were not frowned upon at all, the real issue concerned a kind of hierarchy. Thus you would have the proactive (penetrating) partner and the receiving (being penetrated) partner - i.e. active and passive. It thus becomes obviously about ‘masculinity’, such that the passive, receiving party is seen as lower down in the hierarchy. Even, to a certain extent, emasculated. (And obviously note that ‘women’ would be seen as always in that position). We sort of see this view still around today in some people’s attitude towards homosexuals. The word ‘pansy’ for example.

So the Romans had a lot of insults ready for those types who were always on the receiving end - and especially those who voluntarily preferred it). Likewise, your use of that sort of thing in this story as a punishment in the form of a public humiliation is absolutely spot on in view of all this. It’s essentially showing who’s boss. Equally, so clearly the Baron understands it in precisely these terms.

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K.Lynn Grey's avatar

I ate this up! Sometimes I skim when I read, but with you, I read every word.

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Nick Winney's avatar

thank you so much! that's really the best sort of compliment a writer can receive!

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