If this is a cross-section of your bureaucratic life, it makes me believe you were stuck being the unwitting foil in a Ricky Gervais sit-com. Is this an intrinsic English response? I wonder - we seem to have a knack for compounding mild embarrassment until it is excruciating. I feel for you, and fair play for writing it all down. Being English, I have many potential moments of embarrassment stories, but I have also chosen never to be embarrassed - it was a revelation to realise it's an entirely optional feeling and simply by doubling down on whatever transgression I have committed, I discovered I could avoid embarrassment... much to my children's embarrassment.
Would it be a faux pas on my part if I said I did actually laugh out loud at certain points in this story. Especially as I knew before you said it that the guy about to get hit by the banana was black. Maybe it's the way you wrote it like an excellent piece of humorous storytelling.
Of course it goes without saying that racism is despicable, not to mention a sign of serious spiritual immaturity (as is any fear of the 'other'), but I would imagine that in this particular incident Andy did not disbelieve your explanation. Because it's absurd to think someone who had never exhibited any racism previously would just suddenly, out of the blue, decide today was the day when he'd make the most overt show of racism in such a ridiculous way. So, perhaps you are underestimating Andy's intelligence here?
Of course one way you could've resolved the issue is by indulging in a few bars of the classic John Barnes rap from England New Order, and then ostentatiously watching some youtube videos of Barnesy skinning left backs for Ingerland and/or Liverpool, and muttering profanities about how awful it was when people chucked bananas at such a footballing legend.
So, I do actually think you are overthinking all this, and hyperbolising the entire thing in your mind.
I liked the one about getting stuck in the bog, though. Classic. Especially the 'flush or not to flush'. Not flushing being *slightly* more sinister.
You are not just a good scary story writer, you're excellent at humour too. And these two incidents are just so quintessentially English.
Next you'll be regaling us about your Curry House of Horrors experiences.
You are brave to tell such tales about your faux pas. I won't ask you to explain, but I don't get how a banana is racist. I must be too naive to understand these things, or maybe not exposed enough to the Big World Out There. At any rate, I hope "Andy" reads this someday and understands that it was nothing more than a mistake. It's creeping up on midnight here and I'm getting incoherent, so I'll bid you goodnight before I end up eating my foot.
I don’t know if I’d have ever made that meeting. I think I would have accepted my lot in life and just live and die in the bathroom
if it had not been the politicians at the meeting... it was career suicide to stand them up...
God that must have been nerve-wracking!
If this is a cross-section of your bureaucratic life, it makes me believe you were stuck being the unwitting foil in a Ricky Gervais sit-com. Is this an intrinsic English response? I wonder - we seem to have a knack for compounding mild embarrassment until it is excruciating. I feel for you, and fair play for writing it all down. Being English, I have many potential moments of embarrassment stories, but I have also chosen never to be embarrassed - it was a revelation to realise it's an entirely optional feeling and simply by doubling down on whatever transgression I have committed, I discovered I could avoid embarrassment... much to my children's embarrassment.
Would it be a faux pas on my part if I said I did actually laugh out loud at certain points in this story. Especially as I knew before you said it that the guy about to get hit by the banana was black. Maybe it's the way you wrote it like an excellent piece of humorous storytelling.
Of course it goes without saying that racism is despicable, not to mention a sign of serious spiritual immaturity (as is any fear of the 'other'), but I would imagine that in this particular incident Andy did not disbelieve your explanation. Because it's absurd to think someone who had never exhibited any racism previously would just suddenly, out of the blue, decide today was the day when he'd make the most overt show of racism in such a ridiculous way. So, perhaps you are underestimating Andy's intelligence here?
Of course one way you could've resolved the issue is by indulging in a few bars of the classic John Barnes rap from England New Order, and then ostentatiously watching some youtube videos of Barnesy skinning left backs for Ingerland and/or Liverpool, and muttering profanities about how awful it was when people chucked bananas at such a footballing legend.
So, I do actually think you are overthinking all this, and hyperbolising the entire thing in your mind.
I liked the one about getting stuck in the bog, though. Classic. Especially the 'flush or not to flush'. Not flushing being *slightly* more sinister.
You are not just a good scary story writer, you're excellent at humour too. And these two incidents are just so quintessentially English.
Next you'll be regaling us about your Curry House of Horrors experiences.
not at all. it was supposed to amusing. so im glad you laughed!
You are brave to tell such tales about your faux pas. I won't ask you to explain, but I don't get how a banana is racist. I must be too naive to understand these things, or maybe not exposed enough to the Big World Out There. At any rate, I hope "Andy" reads this someday and understands that it was nothing more than a mistake. It's creeping up on midnight here and I'm getting incoherent, so I'll bid you goodnight before I end up eating my foot.