12 Comments
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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I really enjoyed this and it was so wonderfully English!

So easy to get into - great first chapter and I am now sufficiently intrigued to keep reading...

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Nick Winney's avatar

Thank you Evelyn. very encouraging!

you can read part II already and part three is out tomorrow. hopefully the intrigue will continue!

as for the ending... i just can't get happy with it! But I did enjoy trying to get the characters each to have their own voice.

this story was inspired by my overhearing a very strange conversation over breakfast at the George, an old hotel in Askrigg. all the places in the story actually exist and are very familiar to me.

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D.W. Davison's avatar

I love the dialogue! Well done! Looking forward to reading more. 😀

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Jon T's avatar

Flippin fantastic Nick

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Nick Winney's avatar

Oh thanks John! hopefully my enormous use of yorkshire vernacular wont annoy you too much....

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Jon T's avatar

i got used to it ;) - of course, I'm an agreeable Canadian, so---

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Nick Winney's avatar

hope you like the story! teh science is a tad ropey hehe

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A. R. Crocker's avatar

I'm intrigued!!! Great job with the dialogue, too.

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Nick Winney's avatar

thanks! im not 100% sure that I've got the vernacular right or that it was the right decision to do it at all.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I think you did get it right. Although I probably would've used a few ' for stuff like 'em vs. them, kind of thing. Mind you I'm not from Yorkshire, but rather a 'soft southern wuss', so I'm probably not the best one to comment.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Aye.... 'appen as mebby as might as 'appen as not as 'appen! A few apostrophes went awry for sure!

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Nick Winney's avatar

well the story is finished but its getting some tweaks. and there were three endings and im not sure i picked the best one...

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