for some reason im just getting notice of comments now... or did you just make it... no matter! really pleasing that you read it and liked it enough to comment 😀
That's an extremely enigmatic ending. I'm thinking they're aliens or something of course. I feel like their should be a part 3 - so I think I'm going to have to go back and read the beginning of part 1 again.
Just went back to part 1 to read the opening paragraph - I'd sort of forgotten that bit by getting so into it. So I'm guessing the aliens sort of extracted his mind/soul or something. And he's trapped in some kind of device.
Anyway - it's still totally creepy and exceptionally well done!
hes trapped in his own body...and his fiancee is wheeling him in every week... while the aliens are doing whatever theyre doing to him... i didnt have more story to tell than this. its supposed to be a bit enigmatic. glad you found it sinister!
Yeah - one thing that's great about it is the suggestiveness. So you're letting the reader fill in all the gaps (i.e. unspoken subtext) with their imagination, prompted by your suggestions. That's a real narrative skill that is.
I have also noticed just how much variety you are showing recently in your writing. It's seriously good stuff. So I'm really looking forward to what you're going to treat us with in 2025!
Thanks Evelyn 😀 its good to chop and change I think. i want to try and write a proper plan for the Jiro Jones thing. ive got to write a novel. thats going to be my goal for this year. if i can stop writing short stories haha.
Yeah - you should definitely get yourself an outline - else you’ll go down dead ends and get frustrated when the continuity is all wrong. But I would certainly love to see more Jiro Jones, that’s for sure.
Don’t stop writing short stories though - they’re great!
"death wasn’t something we had thought about before, but now the possibility of it was alive." — I like that.
Thanks Hanna! it was one of those lines that gives you a good feeling when it comes out! 😀
the eyes are a great detail nick, and I loved the “black mirror” of it all!
Thanks EJ!
for some reason im just getting notice of comments now... or did you just make it... no matter! really pleasing that you read it and liked it enough to comment 😀
no i think it got stuck in the weird glitch at the end of feb! glad you saw it.
What a banger.
Oh boy… this is getting intense. I feel anxious and uneasy just reading these.
Wow Nick. This is just the creepy sci-fi that brings me joy!
thanks Mary 😄it brings me joy that you liked it!
That's an extremely enigmatic ending. I'm thinking they're aliens or something of course. I feel like their should be a part 3 - so I think I'm going to have to go back and read the beginning of part 1 again.
It is really great though - truly sinister.
Just went back to part 1 to read the opening paragraph - I'd sort of forgotten that bit by getting so into it. So I'm guessing the aliens sort of extracted his mind/soul or something. And he's trapped in some kind of device.
Anyway - it's still totally creepy and exceptionally well done!
hes trapped in his own body...and his fiancee is wheeling him in every week... while the aliens are doing whatever theyre doing to him... i didnt have more story to tell than this. its supposed to be a bit enigmatic. glad you found it sinister!
Yeah - one thing that's great about it is the suggestiveness. So you're letting the reader fill in all the gaps (i.e. unspoken subtext) with their imagination, prompted by your suggestions. That's a real narrative skill that is.
I have also noticed just how much variety you are showing recently in your writing. It's seriously good stuff. So I'm really looking forward to what you're going to treat us with in 2025!
Thanks Evelyn 😀 its good to chop and change I think. i want to try and write a proper plan for the Jiro Jones thing. ive got to write a novel. thats going to be my goal for this year. if i can stop writing short stories haha.
Yeah - you should definitely get yourself an outline - else you’ll go down dead ends and get frustrated when the continuity is all wrong. But I would certainly love to see more Jiro Jones, that’s for sure.
Don’t stop writing short stories though - they’re great!
Oh wow, super scary.
Happy new year, btw...
and to you Jeannine
Glad you like it! its only in 2 bits though... its much longer than i intended already.