I was wondering, from early on, whether this was a sort of anti-Trumpian revenge fantasy, or the President would be already dead and the endless bike ride through the consequences of his actions was going to be his own personal hell, all administered by the devil dressed as a gym attendant.
that pretty much sums up all the allusions i was aiming for Evelyn so you're completely on point with that! 😁
I know it wasnt very subtle and its a well used device indeed. The premise just came to me watching this old boy on a bike at the gym i go to, and what looked like a really dull scene he was riding through and i got to imagining what if he was about to die on the bike and the screen was his life flashing before his eyes
I think that’s what a psychoanalyst would call ‘maladaptive daydreaming’. I don’t think there’s anything maladaptive about it at all though. For non-writers, maybe, but not for the likes of us.
Perhaps you could do an alternate version except this time it’s an old bloke trying out that incessantly irritating Tai Chi advert YouTube keep insisting on subjecting people to.
i do that all the time...every car journey...what if theres a dead body buried in those woods at the side of the slip road...under the roundabout .etc... what is really coming out of that chimney .... what are they really making in that factory... imagine if i just went mental and killed everyone in the car flying off that bridge...it's not just me is it?
No, it’s definitely not just you. And those are all intriguing story ideas. Maybe there’s a sort of Final Destination thing going on. Whoever wrote those screenplays must’ve been an expert maladaptive daydreamer.
Oh we get loads of log lorries round here! And they’re dead scary - especially when I’m riding my bike into/from town. Doesn’t matter whether they are on my side of the road, about to overtake, or advancing menacingly towards me on the opposite side. I got seriously cut up by one big lorry a few years ago (I survived, though, and no signs of Death making up for it since, so I guess I’m ok for the moment).
This is why I avoid riding when the wind is all blustery. One single side draft at 60 kph and I’d be out in the middle of the road and toast.
Fortunately, the vast majority of French drivers are extremely respectful when it comes to cyclists and they take a wide berth - probably because cycling is so popular here, almost a national sport.
Thank you so much Saint-Lazare. I didn't really rate this one myself. didnt spend a lot of time on it... minneapolis, venezuala, ukraine and Gaza hopefully recognisable as the trumpian legacy...
thinking on it, maybe i needed him to relish the atrocities more ... also the concept of "the machine" never stopping and being a force underneath > could have brought out more... this was just something quick though. scratched an itch. Thanks for reading RMG 😀
thanks Judith...i know its not the best writing and its pretty 2 dimensional and a bit "a christmas carol" but it just came to me while i was at the gym and it wrote itself in about 2 hours. sometimes you just have to let it out. As Keith long just said, every story can't be your best ever! Thanks for reading!
cheers man! glad it was up your street.
Manic fuckin' thing
Lovin' it.
I'd rate it as
my.jam.my.jam.my.jam.my.jam.my.jam / 10
Brilliantly done Nick 👍🏼
Reminds me of the King story called Stationary Bike, but yours is a lot darker with no happy ending!
Thanks Daniel. I haven't read that King story... one for the TBR mountain maybe !
I was wondering, from early on, whether this was a sort of anti-Trumpian revenge fantasy, or the President would be already dead and the endless bike ride through the consequences of his actions was going to be his own personal hell, all administered by the devil dressed as a gym attendant.
I guess I'm like 7/10 right perhaps.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
that pretty much sums up all the allusions i was aiming for Evelyn so you're completely on point with that! 😁
I know it wasnt very subtle and its a well used device indeed. The premise just came to me watching this old boy on a bike at the gym i go to, and what looked like a really dull scene he was riding through and i got to imagining what if he was about to die on the bike and the screen was his life flashing before his eyes
I think that’s what a psychoanalyst would call ‘maladaptive daydreaming’. I don’t think there’s anything maladaptive about it at all though. For non-writers, maybe, but not for the likes of us.
Perhaps you could do an alternate version except this time it’s an old bloke trying out that incessantly irritating Tai Chi advert YouTube keep insisting on subjecting people to.
i do that all the time...every car journey...what if theres a dead body buried in those woods at the side of the slip road...under the roundabout .etc... what is really coming out of that chimney .... what are they really making in that factory... imagine if i just went mental and killed everyone in the car flying off that bridge...it's not just me is it?
No, it’s definitely not just you. And those are all intriguing story ideas. Maybe there’s a sort of Final Destination thing going on. Whoever wrote those screenplays must’ve been an expert maladaptive daydreamer.
oh god....the LOG LORRIES!
Oh we get loads of log lorries round here! And they’re dead scary - especially when I’m riding my bike into/from town. Doesn’t matter whether they are on my side of the road, about to overtake, or advancing menacingly towards me on the opposite side. I got seriously cut up by one big lorry a few years ago (I survived, though, and no signs of Death making up for it since, so I guess I’m ok for the moment).
This is why I avoid riding when the wind is all blustery. One single side draft at 60 kph and I’d be out in the middle of the road and toast.
Fortunately, the vast majority of French drivers are extremely respectful when it comes to cyclists and they take a wide berth - probably because cycling is so popular here, almost a national sport.
But yeah, the log lorries… shudder.
That's a wild ride, Nick, awesome!
Thank you so much Saint-Lazare. I didn't really rate this one myself. didnt spend a lot of time on it... minneapolis, venezuala, ukraine and Gaza hopefully recognisable as the trumpian legacy...
I knew this was going in a macabre direction when the attendant "cracked" their smile. 😃 Thanks for the story!
Hackneyed I know…
It gets the point across! I like the image.
Loved it.
Thank you Judith 😊
Macabre indeed! I would have liked the old guy to feel tortured emotionally first but I imagine nothing would make him bat an eye.
thinking on it, maybe i needed him to relish the atrocities more ... also the concept of "the machine" never stopping and being a force underneath > could have brought out more... this was just something quick though. scratched an itch. Thanks for reading RMG 😀
Oooh I love both of those ideas.
nope. not that particular chap.
awww thanks Daniel! 🫠
"Trump" dies...that's got to be at least a bit of silver lining?, even if the wheels of the machine never stop...
thanks Judith...i know its not the best writing and its pretty 2 dimensional and a bit "a christmas carol" but it just came to me while i was at the gym and it wrote itself in about 2 hours. sometimes you just have to let it out. As Keith long just said, every story can't be your best ever! Thanks for reading!